NBA Finals Preview + Power Ranking the funniest Ali G "NBA on TNT" commercials from 2005
It’s been a hectic last few weeks for me, but I’m happy to be back with my virtual pen in hand, and I wanted to be sure to get some content out ahead of the NBA Finals. My beloved readers can expect a more consistent stream of articles/blogs/shite over the next couple weeks, with some sort of analysis after each Finals game.
To start this post off with a lighthearted celebration of the NBA Playoffs as this season comes to an end, and an appreciation for the incredibly-entertaining TNT basketball production (which is in real danger of coming to a close, sadly), I’m revisiting my favorite series of basketball-related ads/promos/teasers. Sacha Baren Cohen, acting as his original Ali G character, interviewed the most notable superstars ahead of the 2005-06 NBA Playoffs, and the results were incredible.
Call me naïve, but I honestly believe these weren’t entirely scripted. Obviously, the players knew they would be doing a promo with a comedian, and were probably told to entertain the bit Cohen was doing, but I think most of these were a result of Ali G’s brilliance and his ability to rip jokes off the cuff.
With most of his characters, especially Ali G and Borat, Sacha Baren Cohen is so effective in creating embarrassing conversations by being confidently and purposely wrong in his understanding of a expression, idiom, or even the pronunciation of someone’s name. The subject then has stoop down to his level to explain a simple concept, often becoming flustered in the process. You can notice a few of the NBA players become (or at least look) genuinely agitated in these interviews, and I always crack up seeing typically-very-serious guys like Shaq and Kobe “get got.”
I’d recommend watching all of them, but here’s my personal top 5 clips from the promo.
(please excuse the poor quality, this YouTube compilation uploaded in 2012 is all I’m working with. Shoutout user @TicLow)
#5 TNT NBA Crew
Ain’t nobody gonna watch that. The “NBA player/interviewee blankly staring in disbelief or confusion” is a recurring image in this series.
#4 Shaquille O’Neal (and his plus-one, Dwyane Wade)
“…we’ll give you an autograph, or signed photo — if that’s cool with you, Shaq.”
#3 Steve Kerr
The set-up from Ali G is perfect, and Steve Kerr walks right into it. “She’s been dead for over a hundred years” is also hilarious; a poor estimation, but technically not wrong. Kerr’s face at the end is great.
#2 Kobe Bryant
The lengthy, silent staring competition ending with Ali G’s shit-eating grin and shrug is comedic gold. And honestly, he presents a valid point; how come this room ain’t bouncing? 🤔
RIP Kobe.
#1 Richard “Thomas” Jefferson
Props to Richard Jefferson for being a trooper in this hilariously disrespectful interview. Ali G starts by looking down at a clipboard and STILL gets his name wrong on purpose, and then the cheeky inclusion of saying “no, no, he can’t play…” on the imaginary phone call between Thomas Jefferson and the NBA commissioner makes it even funnier.
Moving on to some more serious basketball discussion, it's time to talk about the 2024 NBA Finals. It’s been a while since I’ve talked ball, and it turns out the reports of the Nuggets’ demise were NOT greatly exaggerated.
Of the two teams remaining, the 5-seed Mavericks are the bigger surprise and possess the more impressive playoff run, of course. Dallas looked good at various points in their up-and-down regular season, but it was hard to envision them evolving into title contenders as quickly as they did.
Someone else might argue this isn’t shocking; Kyrie Irving and Luka Doncic are two of the most talented offensive playmakers in the world, and they should be able to figure it out. But the NBA isn’t played 2-on-2, and I think the development of their role players is most fascinating. The Mavs look the part of a well-organized, highly-experienced playoff team, and yet most of their supporting cast has been there for less than a year.
Derrick Jones Jr: The freakishly-athletic wing defender took a big risk in signing a one-year, veteran’s minimum deal with the Mavs last offseason, but the bet on himself is paying off massively. His elite perimeter defense will be crucial against Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, and he’s due to sign a major deal in free agency this summer.
PJ Washington: Before the trade deadline, PJ was seemingly wasting away his career on a shambolic Hornets franchise, and it’s now clear Charlotte had been misusing his talent. Since joining the Mavs on February 8, Washington has become a stellar 3-and-D wing, and his abilities to space the floor and heat up from beyond the arc have been crucial in some of Dallas’ gutsy postseason wins.
Daniel Gafford: Gafford’s energy and athletic interior presence have been monumental in establishing the Mavs’ defensive identity in the second half of the season, and his acquisition was similar to the PJ Washington deal. The fifth-year center was rescued on the same day from another failing organization (Washington Wizards) at the midseason trade deadline, and both players have completely revitalized their careers since joining Dallas.
Dereck Lively II: Lively and Gafford have created a two-headed monster of shot-blocking, alley-oop dunking, and tenacious rebounding. Lively is perhaps the more impressive of the two, because his ability to do all of this in his first pro season as a 20-year-old rookie is incredible. Both bigs play interchangeably, subbing in for 6-8 minute stretches and provide valuable energy and rim protection.
Seeing as all of these Mavs’ contributors (+Kyrie Irving) have been acquired in the past two years, I guess I should scrap all of my previous discussion that it’s tough to construct a title-contending roster out of recent trade and draft pieces. Perhaps there’s a healthy medium; trying to throw a bunch of superstars together (like the Nets, Suns, and Clippers have tried to do in recent years) and pray it works is a bad idea, but Mark Cuban and the Mavericks have struck gold on all of their role player signings.
Of course, their main component was obviously homegrown, and his time is now. And that man is Luka Doncic. The aforementioned role players will continue handling a lot of the dirty work and defensive effort, but this Mavericks team will still only go as far as the Slovenian superstar can take them.
But Doncic looks prepared to handle that moment, and he hasn’t showed any signs of slowing down through three difficult playoffs series. If all else is evenly matched and most of these Finals games come down to clutch shotmaking in the dying moments, I’m banking on Doncic and Irving to come out on top.
There was minimal resistance on the Boston Celtics’ path to the NBA Finals, some of which was out of their control.
The Eastern Conference has been undeniably weaker than the Western Conference in recent years, and an already-easy bracket was made even easier due to some unfortunate injuries (or fortunate, if you’re a Celtics fan 😒) to the star players standing in their way.
Even if all three teams were at full strength, the Celtics would have been heavy favorites against the Miami Heat, Cleveland Cavaliers, and Indiana Pacers. But timely injuries to Jimmy Butler (MIA), Donovan Mitchell (CLE), and Tyrese Haliburton (IND), arguably the best player on each of their respective squads, made for a very comfy road to the Finals.
The Celtics have yet to be tested, and I think the Mavericks present a level of physicality and offensive firepower far tougher than anything Boston has faced thus far.
For personal reasons (I’m a Lakers fan), I hope they lose.
But if the Celtics are to win this year’s Finals and reclaim their title as the most successful NBA franchise, the health and shooting ability of their stretch-forward Kristaps Porzingis will be crucial.
Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown have made numerous trips to the Eastern Conference Finals and beyond, and the Celtics have tried constructing a handful of different roster combinations around their two superstars, none of which have been ultimately successful thus far. Alongside Porzingis, recent adds Derrick White and Jrue Holiday have helped create what appears to be to the most dominant Celtics squad in recent years. But they will need to be consistently effective all series, while Tatum and Brown will be required to elevate their games to another level.
Tatum has not been an efficient shooter in the 2024 Playoffs, and Brown is liable to have an “off” night every four or five games. This cannot be the case in June, because I’m confident Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving are equipped to bring the heat all series.
This is sure to be a greatly entertaining NBA Finals, and it’s refreshing to see a somewhat-unlikely team like the Mavericks contend for a title.
I’m trying to not let my anti-Celtics bias affect my decision, but I’m leaning towards taking the Mavericks. As I mentioned earlier, I truly believe Doncic and Irving have the upper hand if some of these games, or the series as a whole, boils down to late-game heroics.
I like the Celtics in Game 1, however. With the home crowd on their side, I think the C’s come out hot and utilize their advantages in roster depth and Finals experience.
GAME 1 PICKS:
Celtics -6.5, UNDER 217.5 total points
SERIES PREDICTION:
Mavericks in 6.