Bracket SZN: *Almost* every tournament team in 15 words or less
The field is set, and the best sports weekend of the year is almost upon us. March Madness is finally here, and I’m beyond excited. There’s truly nothing like it: the joy and anticipation as we all attempt to craft the perfect bracket from now until Wednesday night, and the hilarious collective disappointment when every bracket is busted after Day 1. This year’s field provides plenty of interesting storylines, and while I won’t delve too deep into any particular matchup just yet, I have a little bit to say about all of them. Here’s a brief blurb on *almost* every tournament team, in 15 words or less.
(KEY: The Toolshed’s favorite picks to make a deep run or underdogs with a chance to make some noise will be boldfaced and italicized.)
1 seeds:
UConn: Title defense looks likely. Surgical offense and championship experience. See ya in the Final Four.
Houston: Defense (sometimes) wins championships. Shead, Sharp, and Cryer will need to hit big shots.
Purdue: Not sold on ‘em; fraudulent until proven otherwise. Zach Edey doesn’t enjoy hooping.
North Carolina: Relatively weak 1-seed, but still dangerous; they’ll go as far as RJ Davis takes them.
2 seeds:
Tennessee: Knecht has “Player of the Tournament” potential. Favorable path to the Final Four.
Arizona: Whole new team with Love and improved defense. Not drawing Princeton this year was also huge.
Iowa State: Only defense better than Houston’s. Lanky and athletic roster with valuable depth off the bench.
Marquette: Tyler Kolek’s health is crucial, and Shaka Smart’s lack of tourney success is concerning.
3 seeds:
Creighton: The perfect sleeper pick. Elite rebounding, shooting, assist-to-turnover ratio, and foul margin. Somewhat problematic: no depth.
Baylor: Flew under the radar in a loaded Big-12. Entire rotation can shoot the three.
Illinois: I’m skeptical; very talented squad offensively, but few big-time wins all season.
Kentucky: Wildest of all wild cards. Inexperienced, NBA-level talent already playing NBA-esque (bad) defense.
4 seeds:
Auburn: Severely under-seeded. Only thing stopping a deep run might be UConn in the Sweet 16.
Duke: Undeniably talented, but also unbelievably dislikable. I hope (and believe) they will fail.
Alabama: Similar to Kentucky; elite offense with Swiss cheese defense. Rarely the recipe for tourney success.
Kansas: STAY AWAY. Decent-to-mediocre when healthy, god-awful when injured. Current status: injured.
5 seeds:
San Diego State: Pardon my bias. Aztecs can lock up anyone, but LeDee has to carry their offense.
Wisconsin: Gutsy, physical team that can hang with anyone. Wahl needs to avoid foul trouble.
Gonzaga: Don’t count out the Zags; still great offensively in a “down year” for the program.
St. Mary’s: Gaels have a snail’s pace; minimal margin for error in the tournament.. seems unlikely.
6 seeds:
BYU: Lethal team on their day; had some great wins this year… and some perplexing losses.
Texas Tech: Another mildly-successful product of the Big-12 gauntlet. First-year HC makes me hesitant.
Clemson: Slightly overrated, in my opinion. Riding the high of two (2) decent wins all year.
South Carolina: Possibly even more overrated than Clemson. Should be underdogs against Oregon.
7 seeds:
Florida: Best opportunity to make a run. Great rebounding team. They’d prefer to play Boise State.
Washington State: Solid defensive team stumbling into the tournament. Drake is an undesirable first-round matchup.
Dayton: Efficient offense but only 6-man rotation. Daron Holmes II needs to be Superman.
Texas: Deep team [allegedly] better than their résumé suggests. I’m not convinced.
8 seeds:
Utah State: Mildly underrated squad from a tough MWC. Could win two games or zero.
Florida Atlantic: Disappointing, given preseason expectations. Johnell Davis might earn them one win and nothing more.
Nebraska: Great shooting and well-disciplined team, potential dark-horse. The sharp-shooting Tominaga is must-see TV.
Mississippi State: Not a good team IMO. Very unlucky draw against Sparty does them no favors, either.
9 seeds:
Michigan State: Can't count out Tom Izzo. Could cause a scare for UNC in Second Round.
Northwestern: Boo Buie, incredible name and an even better player. They’ll give FAU a test.
Texas A&M: Snuck into the tourney; gradually improving after a disastrous stretch in February. Zero shooting ability.
TCU: Virtually no difference in performance in home/road splits. Maybe neutral court helps them?
10 seeds:
Drake: Serious offensive firepower against a slower, inconsistent Wazzu squad. Love their chances.
Nevada: Another strong representative from the Mountain West. Major shooting disadvantage against Dayton, though.
Colorado & Colorado State: Taking both CO schools to win First Four. Let’s hope they do, for entertainment’s sake.
Virginia: Nauseatingly slow pace, and shambolic/nonexistent offense. Please let them lose.
Boise State: Scrappy road warriors, zero rotational depth. Offense liable to completely disappear if Degenhart falters.
11 seeds:
New Mexico: Very underrated squad and getting hot at the right time. Would hate to be Clemson.
Oregon: Earned a spot after a great Pac-12 tourney showing. N’Faly Dante is an absolute game-wrecker.
Duquesne: Solid defensive unit but not confident they can slow down BYU. Very unimpressive résumé.
NC State: Hand up, I know nothing about them besides winning the auto-bid. Go Pack, I guess.
12 seeds:
Grand Canyon: Hard to get a read, their competition was truly terrible. Still have sleepy potential.
James Madison: Potential to give Wisconsin trouble. Great record against weak competition is the 12-seed’s theme.
McNeese State: Same story, minimal meaningful results to go off. Zags have more talent.
UAB: Most respectable résumé of the bunch, worst matchup. SDSU’s defense and experience gives them hell.
13 seeds:
Samford: Elite upset opportunity. Great shooting and high-pace, while Kansas is limping in. Taking the Bulldogs.
Charleston: Their inevitable shootout against Bama might have 200 total points. Unlikely they keep up.
Yale: The Ivy League is usually feisty in March, but Auburn is significantly more talented.
Vermont: Heavy underdogs against Dook but their mega-deep rotation might keep them energized.
14 seeds:
Akron: *Would* be the best upset pick if they didn’t play Creighton. Enrique Freeman is dominant.
Morehead State: Talented offense led by Riley Minix, but zero depth and tragically undersized against Illinois.
Oakland: Severely less talented than Kentucky, and they can’t afford a “track meet” style of game.
Colgate: Haven’t watched one minute of Colgate Basketball this year. Baylor by 30, IDK.
15 seeds:
I’ll save some time and group these all together. Western Kentucky probably has the best shot; they’ll want a shootout with Marquette and Kolek’s health is questionable. Long Beach St. has a fascinating story: they fired their current head coach (effective at end of season) BEFORE he won their conference tourney; who knows, maybe Arizona still has Princeton nightmares. Giving South Dakota State and St. Peter’s little-to-no chance.
16 seeds:
Same thing, we’re grasping at straws here. I would not endorse betting on any of these, but how could I claim “I know ball” if I didn’t power rank the 16 seeds.
1) Winner of Grambling/Montana State, simply because Purdue is fraudulent. Picking Montana St. to win the play-in.
2) Longwood… hell of a name and maybe Houston’s guards go ice cold. I don’t know, who cares?
3) Stetson; they’re really bad and will play the defending champs… do not bet them to cover +26.5.
4) Winner of Howard/Wagner. With all due respect, these teams are truly terrible. But maybe they build some momentum from the play-in game and come out swinging.
That’ll suffice for Monday. Expect more in the coming days, and in the meantime, keep crafting brackets to the best (or worst) of your abilities.
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